For a certain period, I had a lot of things going on in my life. I really don’t know the best way to describe everything but I will attempt to. (That period will be referred to as “The point” all through this article).
There’s a point where it feels like nothing is happening, like in all aspects. And then there’s this low feeling, really really low feeling that accompanies the point”.
During The point, I felt so down and bad and incomplete and sad and a whole lot of bad bad emotions. Crazy right?
The whole of The point, I was basically struggling, trying to smile on the outside while tearing up on the inside. And then when I got opportunities of having my room to myself, actually tearing up and getting my pillow soaked with tears of frustration. It was terrible!
Trying to balance up various school activities with studying and getting good grades and moving on with my life (Actually, it was a dead end for me). But then, still struggling to maintain my sanity.
Really, it wasn’t a pleasant experience. The worst part was I didn’t know how to express my feelings.
I started thinking, am I depressed? But then, I remember telling myself “nahhh, that’s not possible. Nigerians don’t get depressed”. Forgive me but my society does not recognize depression in any form. Depression 😏- That happens only in books and all. (My opinion prior to this experience). I took a few online quizzes to check my mental sanity and then I got some funny replies. One particular result said I was “suffering from mild to moderate depression”. Okayyy, so it’s not that bad! I’m just a bit depressed 😂😂😂
All of a sudden, I lost interest in some activities, in people and even my best friend (You know who that is right?)
Well, if you do not know – GOD. My father.
You’re probably wondering, where is she going with all this story. Just keep reading please.
It was like I lost a connection, I found it really difficult to pray, worship, talk to Him and do the regular things I used to do.
Then, each day was kinda worse than the previous day. I just wasn’t feeling so good, I started having worries about a lot of things and very weird thoughts started coming in. Thoughts of failing at school, never getting married (😂😂😂 Yes, this happened! I can laugh about this now but mehn, it wasn’t funny.), and then a thought of suicide came in!!! That was the last straw for me! I told my self – (inserts name here), this is really not possible. Wake up and find help for yourself.
So I decided to go back to the One I had intentionally ignored and put in the background. I really felt bad, here was someone who offered to help, but my whole attitude was “You’re not needed, I’m fine all by myself. *flips hair and walks out like a diva😎*
I literally ran back to Him to pray and ask for forgiveness. I remember crying and expressing my guilt but one beautiful thing happened, I was forgiven! Just like that right, yeah!
Then I poured out all what I was going through. I expressed how I felt exactly my fears, my worries and doubts, every single thing. Withholding nothing! And I started getting reminders – How loved I was and how I had no cause to fear- It was a beautiful night! Losing my fears and cares in worship, laying everything down. No worries, no stress, no pain, 100% gain!
Depression, stress, anxiety and the likes are unnecessary problems that we face.
Are you depressed? Stressed? Worried? Broke? Failing at school? Waiting for admission? (I’ll share my personal story one day, Jamb o Jamb🤦) Did you recently lose a loved one🙁? Are you hungry🤧😋? Do you have any other problem, I have not listed?
Just hold on, do not carry unnecessary load! Please don’t. If you can, talk to a trusted person about your problems, could be a friend, a parent, your elder siblings (if you have any), or even your pastor or teenager’s coordinator in church. You could send me an email also, or send a dm on instagram. I’ll be ready to talk.
But first, there’s a very very important thing you have to do. Talk to Jesus!!! Yes, it’s possible. He’s available all the time. 24/7. Just tell it to Him. You’re loved and precious in His sight. Matthew 11:28 says Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. You have the opportunity to rest, but you need to go to Him first, note the first condition – Come. In case you’re wondering why, we were told in First Peter chapter five, verse seventeen to Cast all our cares upon God because He cares for us. God cares about you!!!!
The amazing part remains the fact that He is ever ready. God is our refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble – Psalms 46:1
You’re loved! Never forget this. Drop the load you are carrying this instant. You don’t need it!
Thank you for reading this. God bless you. This blog post is rather different from majority of the others, I felt it’ll be nice to share a true experience.
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